There are a few players on the White Sox who could do a lot better with their respective intro songs. Here are my suggestions.
A.J. Pierzynski: "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys -- "So while you sit back and wonder why / I got this f****** thorn in my side / Oh my God, it's a mirage / I'm tellin' y'all, it's sabotage" -- AJ's pest-like nature has cast him as an annoyance to nearly every team in baseball. And the whole sabotage thing? I wonder what Josh Paul thinks about it.
Paul Konerko: "Brass Bonanza." Konerko is from Rhode Island, which is basically Connecticut. The Hartford Whalers used to play in Connecticut. The Hartford Whalers played Brass Bonanza after every goal. Brass Bonanza is awesome. Paul Konerko is awesome. QED.
Omar Vizquel: "Forever Young" by Alphaville. "We don't have the power but we never say never...forever young, I want to be forever young" -- Seems pretty self-explanatory, because jokes about how old Vizquel's age never get old!
Juan Pierre: "Deja Vu" by Beyonce & Jay-Z -- "I used to run base like Juan Pierre" -- Juan Pierre no longer runs bases like Juan Pierre.
Alex Rios (or Jake Peavy): "Don't Stop Living In The Red" by Andrew W.K. -- "Don't stop living in the red / Don't stop living in the red / Don't stop living in the red" -- Between Rios' struggles and Peavy's injuries, that's a lot of money going to not a lot of value. The Sox were going to be over budget this season anyway, but Rios and Peavy aren't helping matters.
Adam Dunn: "Power" by Kanye West -- "No one man should have all that power" -- I guess Dunn is heeding Kanye's advice this season.
Jesse Crain: "Hockey Night in Canada Theme." I have no idea if Crain is a hockey fan, but he was born in Toronto. So to have him enter games to one of the best sports telecast songs ever would be pretty great.
Dallas McPherson: "Theme song to the TV show Dallas." Actually, this was McPherson's at-bat song when he was up with the Sox. You win this round, Dallas McPherson.
Chris Sale: "Come Sail Away" by Styx. Another winner, as this is already Sale's intro.
Sergio Santos: "Careless Whisper" by George Michael. Hear me out. "Careless Whisper" is what Sergio Flores plays, and Sergio Flores inspired the SNL Digital Short "The Curse" with Jon Hamm as Sergio the Sexy Sax Man. So, by the transitive property, this would be the greatest thing ever.
Jermaine Dye: "Still" by Geto Boys -- "Die, m***********, die m***********, still" -- I know he's retired and this would be wildly inappropriate for a family setting. But if you change "die" to "Dye," how much more intimidating can an at-bat song get? (Also, if you're at work and don't know how to turn the sound off on your computer, don't click that link)