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Wednesday, June 27, 2012



Remember that post about intangibles? Well Chase Utley sure has them. He just made the entire team better already and he didn't even play yet!

Now thats intangibles.

I summoned every ounce of hyperbole that I could muster for this post. I'm not gonna let it go to waste at the end of a thread:

"This is possibly the best Phillies news in the 229-year history of the franchise. Even if Utley comes back and posts a .900 OPS, Howard comes back and slugs .650, and Halladay comes back and goes 12-0 over the rest of the season, it still wouldn't instill me with even one-fourth the joy that I feel right now. Every Phillies game from now until the end of the season suddenly feels like a win.

He sucks.

"Martinez, 29, was hitting .133/.188/.200 with one home run."

The funniest thing is that literally NO ONE expected much better than this at any point over the last couple of years, yet he continued (continues?) to keep coming back like Jason Vorhees. Gotta chop his head off.

BAP, more so than a hypothetical Schneider DFA to clear a roster spot for Kratz?

credit: "Scott"

"yet he continued (continues?) to keep coming back like Jason Vorhees. Gotta chop his head off."

They tried that at the end of "Friday the 13th Part III," and again in "Friday the 13th: the Final Chapter." Both times, he managed to come back for the next movie. I expect it will be the same with Mini-Mart, after Utley re-injures his knee on his 2nd AB of tonight's game.

And I saw an angel come down from heaven, having the key of the bottomless pit and a great chain in his hand.

2 And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years,

3 And cast him into the bottomless pit, and shut him up, and set a seal upon him, that he should deceive the nations no more, till the thousand years should be fulfilled: and after that he must be loosed a little season.

Glad to see MM gone, but in all seriousness, I do wish him well. Seems like a nice guy.

"BAP, more so than a hypothetical Schneider DFA to clear a roster spot for Kratz?"

That would be like having your friend set you up on a blind date, and then showing up for the date & finding out that it's Christie Brinkley. It's just too unrealistic to even contemplate.

BAP: Christie Brinkley is 62 years old.

can_of_corn: I share the same sentiment. I have no ill will towards the guy (as most people here), but he doesn't deserve to be on this team right now.

In fact, I wish him so well that he plays his heart out in LHV and comes back to the Phils a better ballplayer and will contribute to future success with the Phillies.

Heck of an acquisition at mid-season.

Say it ain't so Joe (aka Chollie)!

Christie Brinkley looks damn good for 62.

So tonight...


And against LHP




Heck of an acquisition at mid-season.

Yeah, only the Phillies would be dumb enough to accept Mini-Mart straight up for Chase Utley.

Praise Jeebus!

re: Christie Brinkley- she looks a lot better at 62 than a lot of the 20-something starlets running around out there.

BAP, Christie Brinkley is actually available, in addition to being 62 y/o. Oh, and per her ex, she's certifiably nuts. So, it might not be all that out of the realm of possibility. Sounds exactly like the kind of women I attract.

Though, your point is a good one. Just for the sake of the kids these days, it doesn't hurt to use "Kate Upton" every time you think about using Brinkley.

Cannot believe that JW made a post about Mini-Mart instead of a post to say that Utley was being reactivated.

Absolutely disgusted by this sort of negativity that defines Beerleaguer.

Wiki says Brinkley was born in 1954, making her 58.

Just in case 60 was like your breaking point, she's below the threshold once again.

Although Utley coming back is bigger news, it definitely takes a backseat to Martinez as being bigger "Beerleaguer news." I can read about Utley in 100 different media outlets. To me, that's why BL is great. It is, after all, "an alternative viewpoints on the Philadelphia Phillies." What's alternative to reading about Utley coming back?

Should read: "What's alternative about reading that Utley is coming back?"

re: brinkley

even when we switch topics, clout is wrong, ha.

re: cyclic

I would play Mayberry everyday before Wigginton. RFD at least gives you premium defense, while Pierre/Wigginton can not. as long as Polanco is on a nice streak, you don't need Pierre's OBP as much in the top of the order anymore.

Brinkley could be 75 for all I care. I'd trow her the meat.

Christie was an excellent reference...and she looks ridiculous for her age. She is definitely in the Diane Lane Hall of Fame.

And I hope to never EVER see Mini Mart in a Phillies line up again.

Love the appropriately mini image of mini mart.

I enjoyed her for awhile and then moved on.

I'd actually prefer a 58 year old Brinkley as our utility infielder to Mini Mart.

I can't help but wonder if Fontenot will actually get MORE time with Utley back (assuming they'll try to manage Utley's time pretty strictly).

Rollins, Pierre, Utley, Ruiz, Pence, Victorino, Wigginton, Fontenot (3B), Valdes

Wow, I think that's my favorite lineup so far this season (with the obvious selection of Valdes).

Pretty crappy defense, but they'll need runs off McDonald so I guess I'll take it.

I still had her pegged as about 30, so I must be seriously getting old. But perhaps that means Schneider being DFA'd, and Kratz being added, is not so unrealistic as I thought.


It's official: Michael Martinez optioned to Triple-A


"and per her ex, she's certifiably nuts."

Which ex? I believe she has like 4 of them.

PPP complaining about people talking about the subject of the post in the comments to said post.


PPP complaining about people talking about the subject of the post in the comments to said post.


Posted by: Jack | Wednesday, June 27, 2012 at 03:38 PM

Just counting...JW's post is included.

29 By the way.

PPP must be in need of Depends by now.

Phils basically even @ home (-107) with their bullpen slated to start. However the O/U is only 8, odd combination.

If you think the Phillies win, it'd be hard to imagine them doing it with less than ~5 runs. We should all just celebrate the Utley return/Martinez riddance by cashing in on some Phils+Over parlays and be merry for the night....that or just be extra pist off at our BP.

lorecore: I'm gonna try to go easy on the 'pen tonight. Doesn't seem fair that they've been put in this position, what w/ the rain debacle on Fri. & resulting roster mismanagement. Just the usual Phils shenanigans, perhaps mitigated a bit by Utley's return.

Zolecki: "To start, Utley will play two and take a day off. He played last night so he won't play tomorrow. Pace will pick up, though."

I knew an OB nurse who was present when Christie Brinkely had her daughter. He said she popped the baby out, shook her head and her hair was perfect. He also said she looked like she lost her baby weight the minute she had the baby.

She is truly a genetic freak. Crazy? With the exception of my wife, I lived in crazy town the entire time I was in med school. All the beautiful ones were crazy, or worse. It's really very attractive. The only thing you don't want to do is marry it.

I just wanted to chime in on the Schwimmer v. Diekman debate from last thread.
Schwimmer's K/BB is a whopping 1.25. He has a 4.5 ERA even though his BABiP is .205. He doesn't get many groundballs, and I'm not sure if I totally buy his story about turning a psychological corner. That said, he seems like a swell guy, and I liked the blog he did over at Phuture Phillies.

Yes, Deikman walks guys like crazy, but I'd take him over Schwimmer. At least he can do something well, you know?

You know your team's bullpen is in trouble when you're arguing in favor of the guy with the 6.5 BB/9...

Not the most statistic-based point, but Schwimer always struck me as someone who thinks too much on the mound (probably since I've read his articles on Phuture Phillies and Fangraphs where he describes, in precise detail, his thought process on the mound).

Domonic Brown to DL with Knee Sprain

Todd Zolecki: Halladay making progress. Could start throwing off the mound in the next week.

UBIK: I agree with your conclusion, but i think your analysis of Schwimer is just way to overthought, you're dissecting a month's performance of a guy who pitches an inning every two games or so.

Schwimer showed good control throughout the minors and and the ability to get strikeouts. He stays around 92-93 with his fastball with good downward movement from his big 6'8 frame, and has shown the ability to use his slider effectively late in the count.

He earned his promotion to the majors, now its just a matter of seeing if he belongs. His most recent stretch is a sign that he may just as much as his earlier stretch showed otherwise.

OT: Supposedly, today is the day to which Doc set the Delorean's time machine in BACK TO THE FUTURE.

I'm sure someone can make this into a metaphor for Chase's return.

Domonic Brown: Appropriate pronunciations include \ˈbəst\ and \ˈfläp\.

gbrett: c'mon now, everyone knows they went to 2015 in Back to The Future II, not 2012.

Mini-Mart has already transitioned into a new endeavor. A chain that bears his name.

EFF, great picture of St. Utley

PPP: "Just counting...JW's post is included.

29 By the way."

I'm wondering if you also counted how many of those 29 posts were attempts at humor, as opposed to, say, gratuitous attacks on his worth as a human being. Not that gratuitous attacks on his worth as a human being would be unwarranted, mind you . . .

I've posted this before, but I bear no ill will toward mini-mart.

I think that's probably true of most Beer Leaguers.

I remember when someone over at The Good
Phight wrote a post titled "Mchael Young is not very good at baseball".

That, was my objection to mini-mart's presence on the roster - and his performance bore that out. What I found the most perplexing in the whole situation is that the Phillies' FO and manager couldn't see what was obvious to the rest of us.

I'm sure he's a good guy - I was at the game last night and he did a post-game celebration with Polly - and I'm sure he's probably well liked in the locker room.

So "buena suerte" mini-mart. I wish you well - in Lehigh Valley.

I hate to see Mini Mart go, as he has been a metaphor for the Phils' entire season. I hope the message isn't lost on RAJ. When you reach into the garbage can, guess what you get?

Lorecore: You know, I saw someone else made that comment, too. I haven't seen those movies in years and have no idea!

So, oops?

Here's a thought I just had:

When Howard and Nix return, does Charlie split up the lefties with this lineup?:

St. Utley

Chooch has been "money" in the cleanup spot this season, putting up a line of .410/.478/.590 in only 69 PA.

Just glad Mini didn't get sent to AA to screw our team up here.

Yo, new thread

Im 7 hours behind. I listened to teh -game on the radio and watche dthe last 3 innings at a bar.. I walked in and it was 8-2 and, at least, I got to enjoy some "baseball games are 9 innings" conversation.

Anyway, I post to note G'Town's 4:34ish post:

"Domonic Brown: Appropriate pronunciations include \ˈbəst\ and \ˈfläp\."

Not only does he crack me up every day, he also manages to make the same point (or hyperbole) over and over, he manages to do so without repeating himself. No mean feat. I want to be teh first to credit that phillies hating pants pisser for extraordinary lifetime contributions in the category of comical commentary.

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