A long, strange trip for the Phightin' Phillies

At 77-72, and within striking distance of a Wild Card birth, the Phillies have guaranteed another full season of meaningful baseball.

This season might have all the luster of a pre-owned van with the occasional hiccup, but after an August tune-up, the Phillies may arrive at their final destination in one piece after all.

Excess cargo was jettisoned on K-61 exactly halfway through the country, and luxury items were soon pawned for a couple gallons of lower octane fuel. As it turns out, it was just fine for the thin Houston air. Now, they begin their final plunge along the last leg of the journey. All gauges clear; no signs of overheating. Will the old girl hold, or will her occupants succumb to hunger first? All that remains are bags of sunflower seeds scattered on the backseat floor.

The Phillies odyessy is ending, and oh what an emotional rush it’s been! From the ugly scene along a Boston street on June 23, to the heavy beauty of an orbiting baseball cascading back to earth for the 57th time this season.

The traffic jam known as the National League Wild Card race is starting to clear, and the Phillies have pulled closer toward the lead. It appears they’ve picked the correct lane, too, avoiding one of the league’s mightiest roadblocks in Carlos Zambrano. Hopefully, they don't catch a flat.

It’s time for the passengers to round up their pennies and go in for a cup of java for the driver. Charlie Manuel fell asleep at the wheel back on I-95 between Atlanta and Miami. It was the second near miss in a week. Shotgun passenger Rich Dubee had the map turned upside-down in D.C.

With all the twists and turns, they averted a disastrous breakdown in Fargo, North Dakota, where they picked up a useful piston in Chris Coste. Rick White was hitchhiking just outside Cincinnati when they offered him a lift. His bindle appeared stuffed with snacks, so Randy Wolf told him to get in, in that California laze of his. Then it was off to Seattle to save Jamie Moyer from certain post-season doom. Then, back across-country to offer Jeff Conine the same sanctuary. Nobody knows where Randall Simon came from. He just appeared.

Some of the kids are getting antsy for the ride to end. Chase Utley’s MP3 player ran out of juice all the way back in New York. No surprise; he's been blasting Led Zeppelin non-stop since March during the World Baseball Classic. Mike Lieberthal is complaining that his legs are falling asleep, and Pat Burrell is hearing noises in his head. Rick White keeps pestering Ryan Howard, and no one can understand why. Aaron Fultz and Geoff Geary have tired arms from holding the starting rotation's baggage for many months. And everyone can’t wait for Jimmy Rollins to stop talking.

Soon, the road will fork into separate paths, the exit home, or the expressway to Wally World. This second destination wasn’t originally listed on the itinerary, but the passengers are gathering their second wind in anticipation. One look at Shane Victorino says it all; he's already strapping on his snorkel and fins.

Comments

[Oisin]

V-good jason. way to elegantly nail your chosen metaphor. Particularly liked the lines about white and simon.

[Drama Queen]

Simon was picked up from the San Juan Dirty 'stutes...crazy stuff goes on down there!

I want playoffs so very bad. Us real fans are getting stir-crazy and starting to do weird, but hillarious posts to show how fanatical we are. Nice work Weitzel!

[martin]

Great stuff.

[kdon]

Great piece Jason, lol for the Simon line!

For those who continue to view the Phillies (both former and current) as a bunch of passive chokers or losers or whatever, there is a great stat in the Inky:

"The Phillies are 48-27 (.640) in September/October over the last three seasons. Only the Yankees have a better winning percentage in that time..."

Whatever the Phils problems have been in recent years (usually pitching and managing), it hasn't been an inability to play well down the stretch.

[Drama Queen]

kdon- you're right, they actually play wonderfully down the stretch. this year's start killed us, and without looking at numbers, i think the beginning of the season has given us fits for the past couple seasons.

[Tom Goodman]

Absolutely wonderful piece, Jason, from someone who knows the pictured vehicle first hand.

[J. Weitzel]

Somehow I knew, Goodman.

[Will]

awesome metaphor, I hope that stat holds up!

[Tony]

13 left. 9-4 should do it.

[Lake Fred]

It's strange to look at the Phillies last 13 games and be thankful that the last six are on the road where they play better.

[RickWhiteBlues]

In honor of this 'wild' piece, I've changed my nickname for a day. It brings to mind another nickname, for the 2006 Phillies: The Big Mystery Machine.

Anyone else worried about this series with the Cubs? If I know my Phils, we're looking at a letdown. Cubs have won four in a row and aren't going to lie down.

[Oisin]

RWB - Not worried about the cubs losing to the cubs exactly - rather I'm hoping the Phils can sustain their hitting over the final 13 games. It's not about the other teams any more - its all about us. If we go down in 13 epic fights, I'm happy. If we revert to .500, I won't gnash my teeth in despair - we won't have been good enough. But it will suck mightily.

[Lake Fred]

I checked WGN to see if they'll show any Phillies games on cable, no dice. They are part of the new CW network and they'll be showing CW programming every night this week. No ESPN games either. It looks like computer look-up or bottom of screen scrawls to satisfy my Phillies up to date score habit.

[Will]

I worry that every series for the phils will be a letdown. With 10 of 13 game against the East, the phils need to win this series and almost need to sweep.

We'd all better hope that the pirates continue their surge as they play LA and SD this season still.

And, yes, rest assured that if they fail again this year, all proper blame should fall on the second 10-14 April that the phils had two years in a row now. Yes, April wins matter.

[Lake Fred]

AWB stood for the Average White Band. RWB stands for Rick White's Beard! Nice tribute RSB.

[ae]

I believe the game tonight is on InHD, for anyone who subscribes to hi-def cable packages.

the pitching matchups for this series are ridiculous - you really can't set it up any better for a sweep. which makes me very, very worried.

[J. Weitzel]

All the home games are in HD, including the games on WPSG. Comcast just added WPSG to its HD lineup.

What? You didn't think I'd watch Phillies baseball on an analog set, would you? I'm not Tom Goodman.

[Willard Preacher]

Very entertaining read. Thanks Jason. I, too, love the Randall Simon line. They obviously picked him up after a lengthy stay at an All-You-Can-Eat somewhere along the line, but your guess is as good as mine (any truth to the rumor that he ate one of the Milwaukee sausages as retaliation?).

[John]

Following closely behind the van was Drama Queen, randomly speeding up, beeping his horn, and linking his blog to the weary Phils...

http://boyvsvelly.com/blog/2006/09/15/blog-fight/

[Drama Queen]

John, I don't know why you came on BeerLeaguer to do that...as this is not my affliation.

[Tom Goodman]

Glad to know I represent the analog world. Excuse me, but I think my 8-track tape just jammed. Be right back.

[Drama Queen]

I the back end of the cassette tape and then compact disc era...I so not into the "new" mp3's...getting old and stubborn I guess.

[BenJah]

"Shotgun passenger Rich Dubee had the map turned upside-down in D.C"

since when is it a good idea to be guided by dubees?? i always end up lost

[Drama Queen]

BenJah- come along, and take a hit from the blog!

[ae]

Jason, I was referring to the channel "InHD." I get it on Comcast in DC...they show a (seemingly) random assortment of baseball games from time to time, and I think the Phils are up tonight.

[J. Weitzel]

ae: Right, right. My mistake. It is a random assortment of games, isn't it? I see a share of Toronto games, Twins games, etc. Very strange, but a nice bonus.

[Drama Queen]

So what can we expect from Lieber tonight?

[joe]

You forgot about leaving the Rhodes-kill behind the bus.

[Drama Queen]

excellet Joe...excellent!

[RickWhiteBlues]

Speaking of Arthur, I had an *actual* baseball nightmare the other night, no lie...in which the Phils were playing the Blue Jays at the Skydome (hmm) and Rhodes was called into the game and I went berserk..."I thought he was done for the year! How can he be back? You gotta be kidding me!", etc.

I am afflicted, yes.

[Willard Preacher]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has strange dreams about the Phightin' Phils. I did like the one I had about David Wright in the bloodstripes, though!

In all seriousness, the day after the trade deadline did anyone seriously believe that we'd be talking about any potential playoff scenario? I won't lie and say that I was ready to pack it in and get ready to move on to football season. I think Penn State and the Eagles can wait a few more weeks for me and I couldn't be happier.

[el123chico]

the weitzels' have an HD tv? that actually does surprise me.

[Mike]

Does anyone know how late you can get a walk-up ticket? I have a class in Center City until 7:30 and I'm tempted to head down to the game right after it.

[joe]

ooo... word is that monday and tuesday were very close to "sold out". it may be difficult to get a seat.

i dont know if they're sellng the standing room tix again, but you may be able to grab one.

[Maria]

Loved the story. Very realistic, I could actuually imagine it all happening.

[Tony]

You gotta believe!!!!

[Billy Mac]

Mike, I doubt the ticket windows are open much past 7:00p, but I've never tried. Scalpers normally stick around past game time though. You should be able to pick one up very cheap then. You shouldn't have to pay for parking. Good luck.

[ryan]

Funny stuff.